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Tuesday’s Updates and a Battery of Fun

• CATEGORIES: Features

I’m in the process of flying to Oklahoma today. From there, I plan to ride ‘shotgun’ with my sister back to Washington State. She’s doing most of the driving; I’m there for comic relief and to drive occasionally. Looks like we’ll be heading west along Highway 40 and then north on I-5. There won’t be any stopping for jeeps though; my sister puts her foot to the pedal and goes and goes . . . . Therefore, I won’t have a chance to do updates until yesterday afternoon some time.

Speaking of comedy, you might get a good laugh at my antics yesterday. Sunday morning my car’s alarm went off twice. I suspect it was not to ward off thieves, but to gain sympathy for having to endure the frigid temperatures. Sunday evening (having already burnt my pizza dough, forcing me to make more dough from scratch) I decided to pull the battery out of my car, a ’97 BMW with 200k miles I rarely use. That way, the alarm wouldn’t go off again and drain the battery (which I’d just recharged).

Now, some German genius decided to put the battery in the trunk. To pull out the battery out of its recess requires two hands, an awkward stance, and a little profanity. To make it even more fun, the trunk lid doesn’t stay open on its own, so I have to lean inside the trunk and hold the lid with my back.

When it came time to pull the battery, I put down the flash light and everything else in my hands, grabbed the battery and yanked with the appropriate words. Out came the battery. I moved away from the trunk and placed the battery onto the ground. Just then I heard the trunk clink shut.

“Oh shit,” I uttered. That’s when I realized one of the things in my hands was the car key. “Oh shit,” I repeated. As I went through the mental checklist I realized this was going to be a problem. Sure, I have a back up key, but that only opens the door and turns on the ignition. With the battery out, I can’t use the button near the driver’s seat to open the trunk door. I do have one solution, but that will require me to reach through the back seat and fish around for the key through a small hole.

Rather than fish for the key, I left the key where it was and decided to fly to Oklahoma. While I’ll miss my traveling partner Ann (she’s so jealous) on this trip, it’s better that I get away from that car for a while before it REALLY makes me mad.

pizza-dough-burnt

I was trying to crispen the top of the dough, while watching the Seahawks game. I guess I was never made for multitasking! Even the dog didn’t want anything to do with it.

16 Comments on “Tuesday’s Updates and a Battery of Fun

  1. Ed

    I think you could find another to get power into your vehicle with your charged battery? Neg clip to the body (if it is a neg ground vehicle) And positive clip to the fuse in the vehicle that supplies the power to the button beside your seat that pops the trunk…that is if you can not supply power directly to the back of the pop switch.
    Good luck

  2. Steve S

    Dave,
    I’ve owned a few BMWs and if I remember correctly even though the battery is in the trunk, there are terminals under the hood for jump starting….so you should be able to hook jumper cables up to the car from your removed battery and open the trunk and retrieve your keys.
    When you get home of course!
    Steve S

  3. frankthecrank58

    ah yes….” oh shit” is a phrase I use on many occasions. an all around useful use of English.

  4. Jealous Ann

    I do miss my traveling partner and feel very much out of sorts with him gone so naturally I can’t wait for him to be home. As for his pizza debacle, he more then redeemed himself with his replacement pizza. It was absolutely nummy as are all of his meals. In fact the first thing my sweet mother asked when I’d returned from the airport was “what are you gonna “get” for dinner, I mean your not going to cook are you?”. As you can see David is a hard act to follow; burnt pizza and all.

    <3 ya Babe

    Ann

  5. Kilroy

    Dave,
    Sorry to hear about your pizza crust and current car woes… :(
    But on to more important things:
    Sooo, Kim…., Umm…, how’s it going?
    (Sorry Dave, I had to… ;) )

  6. jeepjunkie

    You forgot rule # 1. ALWAYS put your keys in your pocket…. And I bet the keys fell down around the spare tire so even a magnet on a stick won’t help….. Jump box to the under hood post that Steve talked about is your best bet…. just so long as you did not drop the positve cable in the trunk onto the trunk floor so it grounds out….look forward to how you get out of this one….

  7. Dennis H.

    LOL. Almost reminds me of the time I was replacing the sump pump in my basement septic and asked my daughter-in-law to turn on the switch! I was shit faced!!!

  8. Blaine

    If there isn’t battery jump terminals you can hook the positive to the battery (charge) terminal on the alternator. And… don’t pull the battery. Just disconnect the ground terminal to kill the power and if needed, put something (NOT metal) to hold the clamp off the battery post. Unless the battery was shivering and needed to be warmed up next to the stove. Just a professional point of view.

  9. Brian in Fenton

    So, let me get this straight. You burned Ann’s pizza so she locked you in the trunk and had your sister drive you half way across the counntry. Wow.

  10. deilers Post author

    Brian: your version is funnier :-)

    Regarding using the jump posts in the engine compartment. I had thought about connecting the battery to the jump posts using jumper cables, but forgot to mention that in my post. I *think* the positive cable in the trunk is not touching the metal. The cable is very stiff and hangs in the way when installing the battery.

    Making good progress. Just passing through Flagstaff right now. Roads dry. Sun out. Weather chilly.

  11. Bob

    The sump pump reminds me of the time me and my buddy were moving a bathroom in his basement. We had jack hammered out the floor and had the main soil pipe open. His wife and kids kept using the toilet! You could hear it coming down the pipe and we had to jump out of the hole and yell at them every time!

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